STATS:
Alcoholic Beverages:0
Weight Loss:0
Boys asking me on ridiculously awesome dates (or any kind of dates):0
As you can see from above I am not all that exciting this week. However, I will mention how interesting this little experiment has been. The city of Chicago celebrated St. Patrick's Day this week. Actually, they started last Saturday and continued until about 2 hours ago. Giving up drinking was especially hard this week. Green Beer PEOPLE--GREEN BEER was everywhere. As a part of the celebration, Chicago pubs dye their beer green and then proceed to make asses of themselves by getting belligerently drunk. As a person that LOVES theme parties, theme drinks, theme anything, refusing to partake in green beer was heartbreaking. (Yes I realize that with my last statement I have solidified that I have a problem...if the giving up drinking didn't solidify it for you in earlier posts).
When I set out on this little adventure (I have to use words like adventure because it makes it seem more exciting, in reality it is what normal people do), I thought that I would loose some weight and feel great. As you can see above, I have not lost a single pound. (throws fists in the air and shouts "curses"). For the past 2 weeks, I have been hitting the gym, eating healthy, and listening to Enya. I realize that the weight isn't just going to fly off, but give me something here. 1lb or even .5lbs. Which brings me to my next rant, scale policy at the gym. Bare with me guys, sober Becca is a bit sassy. When you weigh as much as a wet New York Times, you are not and I repeat, YOU ARE NOT allowed to weigh yourself in public. It is like a big F YOU to anyone of normal size. Furthermore, do not stand behind someone as the weigh in--we already hate the number that is about to appear, we don't need you behind us reminding us that there is always someone smaller in the world.
Yesterday, I was weighing in and a little bit was behind me waiting for the scale. Let's take a minute to talk about why I already disliked this bitty. 1. The gym towel not only fit around her Natalie Black Swan Portman body but it wrapped around twice. This same towel looks like it could be a bib on me. 2. She was wearing a hot pink gym outfit, yes OUTFIT. There was a matching head band and socks! Let's just take a picture of you and put you on the cover of Richard Simmons next Sweatin to the Oldies mix. 3.She had this outfit on with the towel wrapped around her. Maybe the towel was supposed to add to her out fit. So I am weighing in and she stands right behind me to wait for the scale. Um hi, I realize that I weigh like 3 of you, but you do not need to be present for this. Why don't you float over to the snack bar and ask for the whole left side of the menu. After I stepped off the scale, she bounced on it and then shook her head in disbelief. I thought she wasn't expecting such a low number, but I was wrong. She threw her hands in the air and said, "5lbs. I gained 5lbs." I was about to high five her and congratulate her on being a real person, but she was not excited by this. Apparently, skinny mcgee was trying to loose weight. Which brings me to my next issue, if you are too skinny you are not allowed to complain about gaining weight. I get it, we all are allowed to have qualms with our bodies, yadda yadda, everyone has their own issues, but I am sorry, you are skinny and pretty I don't feel bad for you.
I am going to continue with my healthy ways in the hopes that the coming weeks will yield some results. I also have hopes that I will have some sober funny stories for you. So far, sober awkward Becca has escaped hilarious social situations. Fingers crossed this wont become a habit.
Updates coming next week!
Taubel--OUT!
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