Brothers are the Best!

I remember at age 8 wishing that I had a sister so that I would be better at being a girl. You see at age 8, I was not sporting the cutest dress. My hair was not done up in a bow. I was not playing with dolls or playing house. Nope. I was wearing umbros and No Fear t-shirts. My hair was in a perma-ponytail, and I was trying like hell to impress my older brothers. (This usually entailed me cussing or trying to play sports. Note--I was horrible at sports. I was cut from every team by 7th grade. I was even told that I should consider other options besides Park and Rec softball.) In 4th grade, I realized that I was missing some key elements to 1. Getting that ever so important boyfriend to couple skate with at the next school field trip to Skate Country and 2. Relating to the other girls in my grade . While I eventually found the path to being girly (I was a Varsity Cheerleader* and actually bought a dress and some wedges--2pts Becca), I still try like hell to impress my brothers.

Growing up with boys was made me stronger. There are the simple reasons why, like I am not surprised by gross messy boys, I am able to sit through any sporting even and at least look entertained, and I know how to NOT talk about my feelings. I would say there are more complex reasons, but growing up with brothers has taught me that boys aren't complex.

My middle brother, E-Rock, is my best friend. We aren't best friends because we share every detail of our lives with each other.  We are close because he knows when I need a truth bomb dropped on me. He gives me the right advice, not the advice I want. He tells me when I am being  hyper emotional.  Most importantly, he does all of this with out reservations. He isn't worried about hurting my feelings or that telling me the truth will ruin our friendship.  

I don't think we have taken a serious picture since 1997.

Most siblings that are that close have daily conversations about the happenings in their lives. We don't do that and probably never will.  Honestly, those conversations would be very boring as my day to day usually entails a nap and an hour or so of facebook stalking. (Oh crap, just had a moment of self awareness....WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?) What is special about our relationship is what isn't said between us, and I don't mean this in a ABC Family original series, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants kind of way. I am not going to use some quote that your find in cute cursive on a canvas at a Target, "A real friend is one that you can sit across from and say nothing but know everything." No, it isn't that touching or emotional--it is way more surface level. For example, during a recent visit we went on a run by one of the many lakes in Minneapolis. Upon parking the car, E-Rock asked if I wanted headphones, I remember thinking "thank god we are going to listen to music because my Robyn/Whitney mashup is the only way I am able to make it past half a mile." (Guys, do yourself a favor and listen---This will change your life!-YOU ARE WELCOME!) Just a personal note, I have no idea how people run, talk, push a stroller, stay upright and breathe all at the same time. Anyone that can multi-task like that deserves a Gold Medal. E-Rock does the typical older brother things, he helps me with computer problems, he fixes my blog when I need to ad links or pictures or make too many grammar mistakes, and he helps me with general life issues. But I think it is the simple things like headphones that make him the best brother and friend. 

While I wish still have moments of wishing for a sister, I am more than certain that I lucked out in the sibling department. Both of my brothers have played a huge role making me a strong woman. They have helped me to take life less seriously and enjoy the ride. However, they should of had an intervention about the No Fear shirts and umbros a little earlier. Seriously, what was I thinking? 

*Did you like how I slipped in that I was a cheerleader so you would think I was cool in high school. I WANT YOUR ACCEPTANCE!!!!!

Taubel--OUT!

B&B on Briar

For the past year, coming home meant walking into the prettiest, funniest, and most adult apartment I have ever had. Living with Belinda, was hands down one of the best experiences in my life. I have never met a more self reflective and motivated person. Furthermore, she is REALLY good at decorating and making our apartment look amazing.

Belinda and I met while in the Second City Conservatory. It was love at first sight! Not only is Belinda gorgeous, as you can clearly see, but she has a magnetism about her. People are just drawn to her. (Guys, that is what magnetism means. You are welcome for educating you--see post below this for more) It could be her unfailing kindness. Possibly it is her uncanny ability to sum up everything you are feeling or thinking in one sentence. Or perhaps, it is that she is SO freaking fun. There is no way to tell you all the wonders that are Belinda in just a simple sentence, because she is anything but that. She is complex (again, complex is the opposite of simple. See what I did there? EDUCATING). Belinda is full of life and is never afraid to be the incredible person that she is. Not to mention, she is probably the most hysterical person I know. 

                               

This weekend, Belinda is moving out, and I am very sad. Let me clarify, I am excited for Belinda and the next chapter in her life. She has work so hard this year and faced many challenges with grace and determination. So yes, I am very happy for her, but I am still sad. Belinda has easily become my best friend in Chicago. She listens to be and puts up with the days when I am anything but an adult. The advice and the support she give me rival that of the most supportive of mothers. By now, I hope all of you are wondering how and when you can meet Belinda and marry her. Tough luck people, she is taken.

I guess this post is for a couple reasons, 1. To let Belinda know how much I love her and will miss not seeing her everyday. She is the reason I started writing again...seriously, she inspired me to get back at challenging myself to put more of my thoughts, bits, and ideas out there. (I guess I could have just said this to her, but guys it is so much better in a facebook status update. Amirite? lol rotfl brb sos.) 2. To remind myself that I have met some incredible people here in Chicago, and that Belinda is just one of the many that have made my time here extraordinary. 3. To show all of you how much fun we have in each of these pictures...and to make you jealous. If you haven't met or talked to Belinda, you should find her and make that happen. You won't regret it. Also, read her blog. She is WAY better than I am at this stuff!!  How 2 Make Friends

Belinda I love you and am excited to see all the wonderful things you do...I WILL RIDE YOUR COAT TAILS!!! 

Taubel--OUT!

Just a preview of what she does..... Belinda Makes Songs Y'all!

Thank You For Fighting!

T is a normal 3rd grader. Plays basketball, runs fast, pushes too hard, makes jokes that he has no idea what they mean, and laughs. He laughs a lot. His laugh. Well, it is amazing. It can turn a bad day right. It instantly makes you forget why you were upset in the first place. It makes any frustration, hardship, or problem seem frivolous. A world where T’s laugh and smile exist, can not possibly be a world in which sadness or heartache exist. But we live in a world where those two entities can coexist. And T lives in a world where his smile and laugh are in constant battle with what others tell him should make him happy.

 While T may seem like a normal 3rd grader, he is not. T struggles to identify letters, numbers, and even his own name. T will often forget why he even got out of his seat in the first place. T will often shut down when in trouble because he isn't able to tell you how he feels. By now you understand that T gets frustrated at even simplest of tasks. He often tells me in a whisper with head bent low, “I can not do that Ms. Taubel. I just can’t. And I am sad.” As you can imagine, this rips me apart because this is the same boy that brings constant sunshine and joy to my life from August to June. Seeing him defeated makes me want to stand up and scream. I want to take all of his pain. (I imagine that this is just an ounce of what it feels like to be a parent.) I tell him constantly that he is smart and talented. I tell him that while he can’t do what some of his friends do, that he is still worthy of respect and love. He is important and needed in this world. BECAUSE HE IS! But somehow this doesn't help and it doesn't make it better. It just isn't fair. T may never see academic success like you and I define it to be, but he will find happiness. Right? Jesus, it has to be right, because I can not be satisfied with a life where a boy as special, talented, funny, and charismatic as T, can not find pure and utter happiness. I am not satisfied that, as a third grader, he has to be prepared to fight for success.

 T fights this battle everyday because his mom was not strong enough to fight the battle of addiction. I don’t blame her and nor should you. We all have demons. We all have struggles. And we all have fights that some days seem like they are impossible to win, and therefore we give up. We give up never knowing if that willingness to take a loss has cost someone else a victory, a chance for “success”, or the opportunity to lead a life full of hopes and dreams. I am more than certain had she known the outcome, she would have asked for help, looked for answers, and fought like hell to for T. So again, DO NOT blame her.

 I am not writing this in the hopes that you will pity T. Be clear on this--never pity that wonderful boy. He doesn't need that from you. What he, and many other students, need from you is encouragement to continue the fight and continue finding success. Yes, he has already found success. What I have decided is that he has already won at the game of life because he has changed my life forever. He has made me a more patient person. He has made me a more loving person. He has made me a more passionate person. Most important, he has shown me that I must fight. I must fight for what I want in life and in this world. So no, I will not pity him--I will celebrate him.

While you are hearing about T right now, there have been 3 years worth of students that have made my life more meaningful and important than I could ever imagine. I decided to become a teacher because I  wanted to change lives. I had the ridiculous idea that their lives needed to be changed. I was selfish and bold enough to think they needed saving.  They didn't need any of those things. They needed a teacher and they needed a teacher who did not think she was doing them a favor. (I still get angry at myself for those idiotic thoughts. How dare I think that was some hero--I was nothing of the sort). In reality, they were doing me the favor. They were the ones changing my life.


When I reveal that I am a teacher, the number one response is thank you. Note--I hate when this happens. I hate it because I am not deserving of thanks or your appreciation. Because the truth is I still have so much to learn. In fact, most days (pretty much everyday) I fail. Through my failure, I improve, but for T and the other 3 years of students that’s not good enough. I owe them more than “I will try harder next year.” But how do you repay people that have given you more than you ever thought possible? They have filled my heart with love, hope, and possibility. They have shown me what it means to thrive in the face defeat. They are the very definition of what it means to give unconditional love. They have more character in their short lives then most of us can hope for. It is because of them that I will continue to tell myself that they...me...you...we are worth the fight. And that success is measured not by a test, a standard, fame or notoriety. Rather, success is measured by individuals. I wont make some grandstand about how I will dedicate my life to reminding everyone (or all 5 of you readers) to fight for happiness or success, because the truth is I am not that important. If T has taught me anything, it is that the laughter, the smiles, and the love you give are what shows people you are worth the fight. So like T, I am going to keep laughing and smiling, but more importantly I am going to keep fighting.

If you decide to share this with people, that's great. I hope T can help them decide what they will fight for, like he has done for me. Thank you T, and thank you to all my students for demanding the best of me. Keep fighting...I know I will.

 Ms. Taubel--OUT!