*Note--this is a long post...hope you enjoy
I am not a very violent person, nor do I enjoy watching people kick and hit the shiz out of each other. In fact, in Middle School and High School I tended to run away when a fight was brewing...I was a wuss!
A couple nights I was having some drinks with teacher friends when a seemingly peaceful night turned Springer on me. We happened to choose the table next to the pool table. We had planned to go for a drink, and of course, a drink turned into several drinks. By the time we found round 4, the pool table found some players. As you can imagine, there were a couple, "would you mind moving so I can get this shot?" Being the nice and accommodating educators that we are, we obliged. However, these pool players were aggressive, bad, but aggressive. Apparently, it was an intense game...that lasted forever. I think they missed the memo that you are supposed to put the ball in the pocket.
I guess one was annoyed that he always had to go through our table to make his shot, so on one shot he made a comment, "Maybe you assholes should move tables." Whoa, whoa whoa! Umm hi Middle School called and they want their irrational bully back. We were all so shocked by his comments that we decided that we shouldn't cater to his awful game anymore. It took about 15 more minutes before the horrible, angry pool player was back. Below is the dialogue....if I wasn't there I wouldn't have believed it:
Bad/slightly busted pool player (BSBPP): Hey dude, move.
Teacher Friend: No I think we are good. We have been here a while
BSBPP: How about this then. I make this shot you buy me a shot.
Teacher Friends: (laughes out loud) How about if you make the shot you but me a shot.
BSBPP: How about I break your nose!
Teacher friend: I would like to see you try that
*Note--one of the teacher friends looks like he could do some real damage.
AHHHHHHHHHH we just went there. We went from friendly shot buying banter to nose breaking threats. It was then that I realized this was not going to end well. The guys took his shot and at the same time pushed our table. Some of my beer spilled out, and that was all it took to get me in the game. No, not threatening to break my friends nose, but spilling my beer got me in a rage.
My friends and I made one last attempt to ignore douche bag and his pool challenged friends. BUT then, his little friend, who probably weighed 100lbs wet, came over and tried to get in the action. BTW he was drinking a Smirnoff Ice. This is word for word what he said to us, "It is like he is the pilot and you guys are a gang of bunny rabbits on the tarmac. I mean it is only going to end one way, he has got to land the plane. That's his job. That's what he knows. And you guys just have to move." I mean it took me a while to even think of how the hell this joker came up with this analogy. But really, I mean really? Below are my many issues with this comment:
1. If he is saying that his friend's job is playing pool, then we need to discuss possible new careers.
2. Bunny Rabbits on tarmacs, and furthermore a "gang of bunny rabbits"? Do rabbits get together and start reeking havoc on the bunny rabbit nation? And then hang out on tarmacs to f with landing planes? If so does that make us the Sharks or the Jets?
3. This dude was drinking a Smirnoff Ice. Come talk to me when you stop being a 16 year old girl at the after Prom party
Our response to this "warning" was one of laughter and a bit of confusion. This did not make the sidekick or the bad pool player happy. When he came back to make his final shot of their hour long game, he didn't say anything just bumped into our table. This was enough to get me angry, but then his cronies on the side screamed, "Just move you guys." This made me rage...I stood up and screamed, "We have been here long before you. Just be human beings and get over it. I mean you all suck at pool anyways." Ummm wow Becca. Really glad you stepped up and told them what time it was. I asked them to be human beings--that is almost as bad as the bunny rabbit analogy.
As I was imparting my words of wisdom, I guess the sidekick came back to try yet again to give us reason to move. When I sat back down, one of my friends was on his feet pointing in the guys face saying, "Not once did anyone ask us nicely to move. NOT ONCE!" If nothing else, my friends and I expect you to be polite to us while you shove your ass in our table. This is when I realized that if a brawl broke out we were too nice to be of any damage. Also, can you imagine if a fight broke out, what I would do? I was thinking I might have to jump on some one's back or just kick someone in the shin. It would have been like a bad scene from a cheesy 80s movie.
Things calmed down enough for us to get our bill and decide to leave. We were just too classy to get in a bar fight. But if we had, we would have totally dominated that crew---in a very polite way of course!
Taubel--OUT!
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