Running!!

Again, I am sorry for spelling and grammatical errors...it has been a long week.

I ran my second half marathon today, and it was a pretty solid run. Pause for the cause--I am really proud of myself. I try not toot my own horn, but I think 2 half marathons is a pretty great accomplishment. So take your hands of the keyboard and do a little clap for me....Thank you! Thank you!

During the 13.1 miles of running I encountered a few things that were funny, annoying, and a bit disturbing. It should be noted that I run very slow. Some of you may actually walk faster than I run, and to you I say shut up. Let me have my glory.

What is great about a half marathon is that friends and family can come out to support you. They line the course and cheer you on as you sweat your way to bad ankles and knee problems. It should also be noted that I had no fans cheering for me, therefore, I just pretended that everyone was there for me. So those signs that said "Go Helen," or "Keep Running, Sexy Legs Susan,"(yes that was a sign) were all code for "Go Taubel...Kick ass and take names." Back to the point, these fans are there to cheer for you, and as I mentioned above, some of them have signs so that their runner can find them when they run by. Most posters are your usual, "Run (insert name here) run!" Thank you Forrest Gump for that ridiculous phrase that will echo through races for decades to come. There are some signs that are catchy...my personal fav. today was, "Don't worry, the Kenyans are behind you!" I laughed out loud on that one. LOL if you will.

The spectators also try to cheer for people they don't know. This would seem nice, but it really just annoyed me. Especially because it is kind of hard to cheer for runners. It isn't like football or baseball where you can cheer for them to do something, like 1st and 10 or home run. All we do is run...so asking us to run is like asking us to breathe...we are already doing it. Some of these "fans" tried to get creative, but it really just made me feel awkward. "Go Rebecca. You keep running like it is your job. Like you can't stop or you will be on welfare." He got all of that out by the time I passed him b/c I am that slow. At first I was like, "how does this tool know my name?" Then I was reminded that my race bib shows it loud and proud. I then began to ponder what the hell he was thinking. Welfare? Really? We went to welfare at a Sunday afternoon race. Could we not have stuck to "keep running. You can do it!"? This angered me because I did not feel it was necessary to bring up social issues so early in the morning.

As I mentioned before, I am a slow runner. I am ok with being a slow runner except for when I am stuck with the motivational speaker and his angry wife. For the last 5 miles of my run I was on pace with a man who felt the need to tell his wife that, "You can do it...just____more miles to go." I was inspired for about the first 5 times he said it and then I wanted to round house kick him to the face! I don't think his wife enjoyed his encouragement as well. How do I know this? Well it could be that she kept silent for most of the run. Or that towards the end she turned to him and breathlessly shouted, "I know how many f-ing miles there are by the huge sign in front of me. My feet hurt and I am not having fun. You said this was fun. I am never listening to you again." Then she paused for a second and whispered, "asshole." It was at this point that I busted out laughing. 1.Who thinks that running 13.1 miles is going to be fun? Seriously, if you think that then you should be kicked in the face by someone wearing a soccer cleat. 2.How the hell did your peppy husband talk you into this? What did he say that made you think, "Yes running 13.1 miles together will be great for our marriage. 3. I loved that she whispered asshole...like that would be the worst insult alive and god forbid me or any of the other 20,000 runners would hear her say that. BTW the couple was matching outfits. This really irritated me. Who gets up at 5am and is like, "Hunny I think we should wear the blue sport fit today. We don't want anyone at this half marathon thinking we walk out of this house wearing any old thing to run in!" Since I am against running fast, I was stuck with these two for the rest of the race. Two thumbs up!

All and all it was a great time. Yes, a lot of people beat me to the finish (there were a surprising amount of old men that beat me but that is not important). Yes, there were some people that annoyed me. And yes, my body wants to punch me in the face. But it was a big accomplishment!

Taubel--OUT!