Buses Be Tryin' Me

So it is official...I suck at updating this blog. But let's agree that all 5 of us are here now and ready to read what I have to say.

I am in month #3 here in Chicago and loving every minute of it. I have met some awesome people, had a lot of adult beverages, and apparently have been cursed by the CTA (Chicago's Transit Authority).

In the 3 months I have been here I have had my ear licked (another day another story), had an awkward morning after moment, and face planted while exiting a bus not 1, not 2, but 3 times.

You may have gotten stuck on the "awkward morning after moment," but let me assure you it is not as slutty as it sounds. (Let's be honest here....we are all well aware that I have little to no game. So, this story is not going to end with me making out with some hot hot guy). A couple weeks ago I was out on the town enjoying my mid-twenties. While talking with my friend and her boyfriend (yes I was the 3rd wheel--one of my favorite roles to play), a young gent approached me to start a conversation. As per usual, I become awkward until I realize he is a buddy of friend.

It is important to note that this friend resembled Alf. You remember the hit late 80s early 90s tv show. Well apparently he was the title character. Not only did he look like Alf but he seemed to think that he was the sh*t. Unfortunately for him he was about as cool as Saved By the Bell:The College Years--we remember how stupid that idea was!!

When the evening comes to a close this new gentleman caller asks to walk me home. Assuming the best and thinking he is just being polite, I agree. In my head I think that he can't be too bad even though he looks like a troll and bores the hell out of me. HORRIBLE ASSUMPTION...the whole "when you assume you make an ass of u and me," was so true in this situation.

Once we get to my apartment he goes in for the kill. I am talking a full on kiss rape moment. I quickly rebounded by telling him that I was getting over the flu and that he would probably get a "mean stomach virus for kissing this grill." WTF who am I and why do I manage to say the most bustarded things? He got the hint and went home.

As if that were not an awkward enough moment, I ran into him on the longest bus ride EVER! I got on the bus after a long day of teacher boot camp and with in seconds of sitting down I see him. Yes, ole tongue stabber mcgee was sitting right beside me. We had to suffer through 20 minutes of weather and reality tv talk. The latter is normally a favorite topic of mine, however with this toolbag it was like some one drop kicking me in the face repeatedly while Adam Lambert screamed his version of "Ring of Fire" in my ear. I ended up getting off two stops early so I wouldn't make things more awkward by asking why the hell he felt it necessary to shove his tongue down my throat.

This situation has taught me several lessons: never talk to a friend of a friend, always take a cab home, and ALWAYS, ALWAYS, above all else, pretend to not recognize anyone!!!

There are many more stories to tell you all, but they will have to wait. I am hoping that there will be more time for my updates. Please send any ideas, topics or suggestions my way. I am sorry for being lazy, but I assure you we are on the up and up!!

Taubel--OUT!