Yes I am a slacker because I have not posted on my ultra popular blog in like 3 weeks. But I swear I have been busy....I have a part-time job (wahoo for some income), I'm planning a big move, and American Idol has been in full swing. However, I think I have hit rock bottom. (Please forgive the stream of conscience below)
As I sit here typing my witty remarks, I am listening to my recent downloads on iTunes. What are these new jams I have crankin on my speakers? Well, they are the new releases from the current season of American Idol. Yes, I have officially taken a turn for Lame-ville, population 1: ME! (And yes, I did just type that sentence).
It seems like lately my schedule is that of a 50 year old, divorced woman...work, home, clean my room, cook a lean cuisine, and watch American Idol (if it is not a Tuesday or Wednesday I am watching Bravo's Real Housewives--wishing that my life was as cool as theirs).
Holy shit, am I turning into my mom? Pause for a refrigerator check...ok I do not have boxed wine in there! Thank you Jesus, there is hope for me yet.
My obsession with American Idol has officially become unhealthy as of 20 minutes ago when I clicked "BUY" next two the new idol contestants names. I bought not one, not two, but three songs--two from youngin Matt Giraud and one from widowed Danny Gokey. Now, you may be saying this isn't a bad thing...you just like chessy reality shows that leave no hope for those who participate in them. And normally I would agree with you, however, I have a serious crush on both of these contestants, and not your regular celebrity crush.
I realized that my crush on these men were bad while watching last night's performances. When Matt took the stage I noticed that my heart skipped a beat and my hands were clinched tightly next to my heart. Once he finished his near perfect rendition of "Sexual Healing," I began clapping wildly and shouting, "BRAVO!" (I mean who the hell says BRAVO?). I then realized I was a bit hot and bothered by his song choice....WTF?!?!?!?! I tried to pretend that I didn't just act like a combination of a 14 year old girl and 80 year old woman (I refer to the aforementioned BRAVO comment), but my father (whom I live with) was there to comment on my behavior. "You alright there?" he said..."Oh yeah, he just gave one hell of a performance...his stage presence and vocals were outstanding." Was I being serious? Did I think that I should be the 5th judge on American Idol (I mean let's be honest who is that Kara chick--she is budget!)
Then my father (MY FATHER) rolled his eyes and laughed at me....this is the man who drinks Natural Lite in his boxers every Sunday while watching NASCAR! I got schooled by a man who thinks watching cars race around in a circle is the epitome of entertainment.
If that wasn't bad enough, Danny Gokey was up to sing. American Idol producers sure know how to pull at heart strings, because they have told us the story of Danny over and over again...widowed weeks before his idol audition, he has climbed to the top of American hearts by his sultry vocals. It is Motown week and Danny has selected "Get Ready," an upbeat tune with some soul. As he hits his last note I am crying...not just a single tear but a plethora of them. I am like that girl at High School graduation that just doesn't want it all to end. As I am sobbing I say to myself, "It's just so wonderful how he has overcome all this...I wish I had a man like that." And instantly I am imagining how Danny and I will meet and fall in love...HOLY HELL I NEED A LIFE!!!!!!! I am sitting in my Father's Florida Room (yes we are that trashy that we have a Florida room!) crying and imaging my white picket fence with Danny Gokey the four-eyed American Idol contestant.
Now, one would think these feelings would subside by the morning, but no, no they haven't. As I was driving home from work I realized tonight was results night on AI...this means that one of my men could be in trouble (I mean I don't think they are because they are amazing singers and talented artist--see what I mean?). As I walk through the door I head straight to my computer and get on iTunes...the mere thought of not hearing them sing has me clicking "BUY" instantly!
This time 2 years ago I was already 4 beers deep and on my way to a night of bad decisions...tonight, I am two diet cokes deep and searching the Internet for message boards about tonight's results show. I am pretty sure that I am 24 years old going on pathetic. But I think that both Danny and Matt would want a gal like that ;)
Gotta go...one hour until the big SHOW. I <3 Danny and Matt!!
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